Like Perry the Platypus, I too have a nemesis. I have several in fact. Like a bad habit, I keep collecting more of them each year. Unlike Perry the Platypus though my situation can't be summed up nicely in a parody song. Not yet at least. Maybe some day...
Well here's the story of how I came to acquire this particular nemesis. If you had read my first post you probably would know by now that part of my NS duties was to teach basic first aid to members of the public. Now because of these teaching duties I never had to be duty medic, equivalent to what is more commonly known as guard duty, which of course everyone hated. Additionally, as most of this teaching duties happen outside the camp and after my normal working hours, I would get transport and meal allowances as well as an off day. It really was quite the sweet deal.
My nemesis wanted in on this, and I knew this because all my friends warned me about it. "Watch out for this guy", they all said. "Relax I got it covered", was always my reply. But I didn't.
My nemesis was bad-mouthing me to my superiors. Accusing me of neglecting my duties and the like. Most of what he said was ignored though eventually he did get one officer to act on it. This particular person never did like me ever since I accidentally got her in trouble with the camp commander (It really was an accident! But I guess that's another story for another time/blog post), and so she removed me from my teaching duties and gave it to him. Adding insult to injury she put me in charge of store duties, which really was just plain cruel.
Don't worry though this story has a happy ending (Again, another story for another time...). Imagine that you find yourself in a similar position. What would you have done?
Hi Faizal,
ReplyDeleteFirstly, I liked your little video clip that you added. It was light-hearted (in the form of a cartoon) yet speaks volume of how having a nemesis will do you in.
I would have been calm and controlled my emotions. Being in such a situation, I would reflect upon my actions/inaction and see how i could have been more tactful. Since I was in charge of store duty, I would strive to be the best store duty in-charge. Perhaps, it is only then that others would be able to see how your talent is a waste as a lowly in-charge of store duties.
Be positive and look on the bright side. I believe that every cloud has a silver lining. :)
In line with the principles of EQ, I would have advised Faizal to utilise “self-regulation” so as to remain calm and cool-headed in such a situation. As this matter pertains to the military, Faizal is required by law to settle his grievances in a manner respectful of the proper channels and regulations, making tact all the more important.
ReplyDeleteIn this case, most of Faizal’s avenues for redress are formal and require legal action and knowledge of his rights and the limitations of his enemies’ capabilities. Exercising his social skills, Faizal should make a formal report to the Battalion’s disciplinary officer. In said report, he should highlight his nemesis’ violation of Section 49 of the SAF Act, which pertains to false evidence, for which the penalty is imprisonment for a term not exceeding two years.
As for the officer who collaborated with the “nemesis”, a charge of corruption could be levied against her for using her position of authority over Faizal to seek revenge against him for accidentally getting her in trouble with the camp commander. Faizal should remember to bring up her aforementioned run-in with the camp commander during her court-martial by a board of inquiry or subordinate military court as a litigating factor. If found guilty, she could subsequently be stripped of her rank and dishonourably discharged in addition to facing imprisonment for a term not exceeding three years for violating Section 28 of the SAF Act, which pertains to ill treatment.
Wow Isaac you really know a lot about this stuff. I really could have used someone like you last time.
ReplyDeleteJust to clear some things up I was never in the army. Things worked a little differently in the home team. But I do see you point. There are proper channels through which I can seek redress.
I agree with both you and Michelle in that being calm was the best thing to do. Actually thats what I did.
At first....
Hi Faizal,
ReplyDeleteYour blog has made it to my list of top blogs to read! I really enjoy how you can always add a light hearted tone to your blog so naturally. Love your style and how It's so easy to understand and relate to. Yea,I only have good to say,but I shall not add an ymore, lest you get big headed. Haha!
Hmmm,this kind of conflict is quite typical in an national service setting. But how one will respond to this situation differs according to his character. For me,because I'm quite anti-conflict,I'd probably just accept what I'm given. Well,at least someone else is made happy,right? :)
Thanks for sharing man! looking forward to your next entry already!
Wow… I think jealousy is the root to quite a lot of interpersonal conflicts. Quite frequently we see ourselves stuck in situations where people like to compare amongst themselves and their means of comforting their insecurities would be to put people they dislike in difficult spots. And this just gets uglier. Yes Faizal! I agree that you should have stayed calm! But its very difficult seeing how unfair the treatment had been for you! But there are just some people in this world who are so annoying!
ReplyDeleteNonetheless, I think you should try to talk to that guy one-on-one to sort things out personally. You could also do this to the female officer who removed you from that position you were in. But I think that it was actually kind of a blessing in disguise that you were put in charge of store duties. At least from then on you wouldn’t be much of a threat or an eyesore in that guy’s eyes and he’ll probably leave you alone then. Plus, given the undermining ways he used to get to his goals, he will definitely meet his match one day where he realizes that making enemies and harming people will get him nowhere.
Otherwise, I guess you could do a complain to your superiors by actually proving the fact that you had been doing your work, not like what your nemesis was defaming you for. So I agree with michelle that if you do your store duties well, people around you would realize that you’ve been wrongly framed and even without saying anything, you could get them to believe you. =)
Hi Faizal! =)
ReplyDeleteIf I were in this situation, I would try to stay calm, like what the others have said. Furthermore, I would brainstorm a list of possible solutions to seek justice for myself. I would look through the various options and critically and logically analyze them to see what are the costs and benefits associated with them. This would help me to determine which option is the one which has the highest chance of helping me to successfully seek redress. You mentioned that the officer who put you in charge of store duties did not like you. I’m not sure how great is her dislike for you, but if her dislike for you was not that large, I would try to make an appointment with her to explain to her how my (your) nemesis has unfairly framed me and why I should be returned to my previous appointment. During my talk with her, I would try to be as calm and courteous as possible. Considering she does not like me, such calmness and courtesy would be all the more important. Being emotional would most likely get me into trouble with her.
Also, you mentioned that your friends have warned you about your nemesis. Hence, since they seem to be my allies, I would consult with them regarding this predicament and seek their advice on what I should do. Perhaps one of them might be able to come up with a concrete solution to my problem. Also, if you happen to be friends with any officers who would be in a position to talk to the female officer who unjustly removed you from your teaching duties, I would talk to them to see if they could help me solve my problem. For example, they could talk to that female officer to convince her that my nemesis’ charges against me were false. Isaac mentioned the legal avenue of redress. I’m sure the SCDF (I believe you worked here during your NS, please correct me if I’m wrong) has a similar avenue for servicemen to air their grievances, so I would consider using that option to solve this problem.
By the way, what was the happy ending which you said happened? I really want to know haha.
I empathize with you! I was in the same kind of situation years ago too. I would say that way I handled it back then was way off my current standards. Since we all were younger once, so mistakes are essential to growth. I am glad we all learnt from those problems.
ReplyDeleteThere are generally two kind of approaches that I see in the society where office politics is prevalent. They are namely the ‘tough it out’ way and the ‘forgive and forgo’ way.
1. Tough It Out Way
There’s a saying,’ An eye for an eye’. I would gather alliances that would support me. Since there are people who were already aware of his character, it would be easy to make him the ‘enemy of the state.’ Once he is being picked on by others, his patience and concentration will soon wear off and there will be windows of opportunities to place small ‘pitfalls’ where he will most like to fall into, make mistakes and get himself in the blacklist of the organization. Then, I would not pick on him myself but instead, be the savior of the day since I already know the remedy of the problem. Thus, he will be so shameful and defeated that he will not ever think of harming me again. If he does, raise up more people to take his job ad make him obsolete, thus he will soon find himself useless and out of the picture.
2. Forgive and Forgo Way
I personally prefer this approach. The mental burden of the previous way is simply too heavy and I would rather move on in life and career. I would do my newly assigned job well and pretend I do not know about the back-stab. I will also focus building friendships with people of other departments and other officers. Soon enough, there will be leaders that will see your character and abilities and they will ‘head-hunt’ you to aid them. For someone who back-stab to climb up the cooperate ladder, he may climb fast but he will not have the prestige for long. I employed this method back then and I was kind of ‘promoted’ not in rank but in responsibilities by a new officer who saw my abilities and efforts.
There is this analogy that I came up during my NS days. Troubles are like stones, they stuck to your boots and make your walk difficult. One can either choose to be offended by it and let it hurt or choose to brush it away and just move on.
Be positive and open to challenges. Control your emotions and not let yourself think of him as a nemesis. You should understand from his point of view that since your job was such a good deal, he too coveted it and would do all he can to get it. You should go to the superior and explain that you have been doing a good job and would like to stay in it. Show your interest in the job and that you really want it.
ReplyDeleteCheers!
This is a very fine post, Faizal. It's clear, concise (yeah!), easy to read and entertaining. You've also generated lots of good feedback. (Yes indeed, as you say, Isaac knows his stuff re the military regulations---and he's got the EQ concepts down as well!) My only advice would be for you to clarify the job you were shifted to. For those of us who don't know, the drama of you being switched out of your "dream" job would have been enhanced if you'd explained why "store duties" was "just plain cruel."
ReplyDeleteA couple minor language issues:
a) My nemesis was bad-mouthing me to my superiors. Accusing me of neglecting my duties and the like. >>> My nemesis was bad-mouthing me to my superiors, accusing me of neglecting my duties and the like.
b) Most of what he said was ignored though eventually he did get one officer to act on it. >>> Most of what he said was ignored, though eventually he did get one officer to act on it.
Thanks for sharing this!
Thanks everyone for all the feedback!
ReplyDeleteI think everyone is largely in agreement. Its best to remain calm and make the most of the hand that's been dealt. Where possible, seek redress in the proper channel.
Edwin,
Yup I guess mine is a common story. NS is only 2 years why do some people feel they need to step over other people right? Its pointless.
Eunice and Jac,
Yea both of you are probably right; I should have talked to my nemesis and the female officer in person. It does sound like the mature thing to do. But there was a lot of pride at stake. It was difficult and I never got myself to do it.
Michelle,
It turns out you were right. There was a silver lining to be found in all this. As a result of this I started to 'live without fear.'
After all they couldn't do much worse to me right? I was already at the bottom of the barrel. So I began to speak my mind and not to mince my words. While other people were reluctant (I really mean scared) to disagree with their superiors, I told them exactly what I thought each time.
As it turns out the CO was really impressed with the new me and duly rescued me from my storeroom hellhole. My influence in that office increased, as I slowly became known as the only straight talker there.
Which brings me to YT and Jon,
YT you are absolutely right. I had two options. And Jon, the happy ending I was talking about? well it involved me taking one of those two options. Haha I guess I'll wait a bit more before I'll tell.
But I think you already know which I it was.
Oh yes I guess I should tell you all why store duty is so horrible.
ReplyDeleteSee the store room is just like Disneyland, except that its totally different. Its dusty, dirty, and smells like cat pee. I saw a cockroach running away from it once.
Running. AWAY.
Plus store duties are utterly mind-numbing. There is no joy from checking and re-checking the inventory. Compared to what I used to do it really was worlds apart.